Questions lodged so far

No. It's a joke shop run by DUNK Limited. The Ministry of Humbug has no connection with the government or any public body, and every document says that it isn't real and has no legal effect.

It shouldn't take long to work out. It says plainly that it's a joke gift, it says who it's from, and it's signed by E. Scrooge. Even so, if they might worry about official-looking post (poor sight, memory problems, or a real case open with a council or the DWP), send it to yourself and hand it over, or warn them first.

Yes. Enter their address at checkout. There's no price or receipt in the envelope. The document says who it's from, but the envelope doesn't, and it may carry the printer's return address rather than ours.

The officer's note is the place for it, up to 180 characters, printed on the document itself. Plain words are fine. The card is blank inside, so post it to yourself first if you want to write in it by hand.

Usually printed within 1 to 3 working days, then 3 to 5 working days by standard post or 1 to 2 by Express. See delivery and returns for the last order dates. If it doesn't turn up, tell us and you can choose a replacement or your money back.

Choose Print at home, which goes on sale once the post is closing. You get an A4 PDF to download straight away. Print it, take it to a library or print shop, or just send it on. There's also a phone pass on its own, any time.

A free joke pass for their phone that comes with every order, or you can buy it on its own. It opens from a private link. On the day, they tap Present papers and the screen fills with a large yellow EXEMPT, with their grounds underneath.

Open it once while there's signal. On Android, or on an iPhone using Safari's Add to Home Screen, it then works without signal. It needs no account and doesn't track anyone.

Not at all. The papers are a free extra, and the printed document works perfectly well on its own. You can always keep the link and present on their behalf.

You can change anything up until you pay. After that it goes to print automatically, usually quickly, so email us straight away and quote your case number. We'll try, but we can't promise to catch it.

If it arrives faulty, damaged or differs from what you approved, you can choose a replacement or a refund. Because each one is personalised, we can't take it back if you've simply changed your mind. Your full rights are set out in delivery and returns.

DUNK Limited, a small company in Bristol, company number 05285457. We make websites, and this is our Christmas side project. Your statement will show a name with HUMBUG in it. You pay through Stripe, who handle the card details, so we never see them.

Yes, at the same price as everywhere else in the UK, with no customs forms and nothing to pay at the door. Allow a day or two longer, especially near the last order dates.

Yes. The office doesn't ask why.

Before you pay, what you've entered is written out as ordinary text on the page, and there's a link there to read the whole document as text, for screen readers or anyone who'd rather read it that way. Your own wording comes in your confirmation email too. If anything on the site doesn't work for you, email hello@dunkdigital.com and we'll help.

Not this year. We post to addresses in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. If they're abroad, the phone pass works anywhere, and so does the print at home version once it's on sale.

Yes. It's meant to be a joke they're in on. We won't accept slurs or threats at all. Anything that could be taken for a real demand, or reads as unkind, waits for a person to read it, and if we wouldn't want to post it, we'll tell you and refund you. See the terms.

You know them best. For some people, being officially excused from all of it is exactly right. For others, this isn't the year. If you do send one, consider posting it to yourself and handing it over, so you're there when they read it. The office has no opinion, and would quietly understand either way.